


Along The Way

by CottonCandyWhump



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: A-Z, Allergies, Alphabet, Angst, Autism, Autistic Character, Autistic meltdowns, Blood, Car Accident, Clowns, Coffee, Depression, Food Poisoning, Gatorade, Gen, Hurt Matthew Casey, I had fun, I know I did this before, Nausea, Phobia, Phobias, Pneumonia, Sickfic, Suicide, Vomiting, Whump, allergy, anthrax - Freeform, blame, but like, clownphobia, coulrophobia, difficulty breathing, emeto, energy, gravol, mint - Freeform, mint allergy, quarentine, tw blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 11,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20379355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CottonCandyWhump/pseuds/CottonCandyWhump
Summary: Another A-Z for Chicago Fire because I always feel like I need an excuse to write stuff that I like that might seem weird to other people (Whump, Emeto, ect). But yeah. Psychoanalysis aside, this is another Chicago Fire A-Z with lots of whump, emeto and angst! Yay!





	1. A - Allergy

“Excuse me? I’m looking for a Lieutenant Casey and a Lieutenant Severide?” 

Connie looks up when a dark haired teenager comes over, two containers in his hands. She looks over to Casey who’s standing a few feet away with a look of confusion in his face. She raises an eyebrow as he starts heading over.

“Lieutenant Casey. What can I do for you?” He asks, looking at the teen.

“Is Lieutenant Severide here?” He asks, looking around.

“Yeah, follow me.” Casey says, heading towards the common room.

The teen follows him, fidgeting with the two small boxes. 

“Sev!” Casey calls. Severide looks up, pausing his conversation with the squad guys to come running over.

“Yeah?” Sev asks, looking at the teen and then looking at Casey, a question in his eyes. Casey shrugs lightly, not sure what the kid is doing here.

“You guys probably don’t remember me but my name is Leo Malink. You guys pulled me out of a fire four years ago,” Leo says to them and Casey and Severide exchange a glance, both remembering the call vividly. 

They had been called to an apartment fire. The building was unstable but Boden had allowed Casey and Severide to go back in for a little boy, around eleven. The building had collapsed while they were making their way out, trapping them in the basement. Severide had found a window and the two of them had managed to get the boy out safely. 

“I remember that one,” Severide says and Casey nods in agreement.

“Well, I just got accepted into a cooking school and I wanted to say thank you,” Leo says, handing each of them one of the small containers. Casey opens his to find a cupcake and with a thank you, steps away to talk to Herrmann.

“Thanks, man. What kid are they?”

“It’s a chocolate base with mint icing-,” the teen had barely finished speaking before Severide looks over to Casey and, upon seeing him about to take a bite of the cupcake, tackles him to the ground.

“What the hell, Sev?!” Casey exclaims, rubbing his head.

“Did you know what was in these cupcakes, Matt? Mint! There was mint!” Severide tells him, helping his friend up.

“Shit,” Casey says, looking at his now smushed cupcake. 

“Did I do something wrong?” The kid asks, heading over.

“Casey’s allergic to mint,” Severide says.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!” Leo yells, close to tears.

“No, it’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful.”

“Yeah. You should’ve,” Severide says with a glare.


	2. B - Blame

“Amy! Did you find her?! Where’s Amy?!” 

Casey shakes his head, unable to say the words needed to confirm the little girls death.

“No! Nonono! You were supposed to save her! You were supposed to save her!” The man, Amy’s father, shouts, walking towards Casey and grabbing his turnout coat in his hands.

“It’s all your fault! You were supposed to save her!” He shouts, shoving Casey back against the squad rig. The man pins Casey against the side of the truck and throws a punch, intending to hit Casey face. Casey moves and instead the man's fist catches him in the throat, knocking the breath out of him.

“Hey!” Severide yells, grabbing the man’s shoulder with one hand and pulling him off Casey with the other. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Severide yells as he shoves the man away from Casey. “He saved your life!”

“It’s his fault my daughters dead! He let her die!” The man shouts, turning away. Severide goes to go after him but stops when Casey puts an arm in front of his chest.

“It’s fine, Sev. He’s right.”


	3. C - Coulrophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear of clowns.

“Where are they?” Casey asks, following the man into a weirdly bright building. They had gotten a call after a chandelier had fallen at a kids party.

“Right through here,” the man tells them, leading them through a set of double doors. Casey stops two feet inside the room, paling as he sees what’s inside. Nearly twenty clowns are in the room, about five of the crouched beside another clown. Casey feels his heart start beating double time and his vision swims in front of him. He can hear Brett asking why it had to be clowns and Herrmann teasing her but everything sounds muffled, as if he were covering his ears.

“Lieutenant?” Somebody calls but Casey is too focused on the clowns. One of the clowns looks at him, his painted on smile filling him with a sense of panic. 

The clown on the ground looks up, blood dripping from his mouth. That’s all Casey’s heart can take and everything goes black.

~~~

“Lieutenant!” Herrmann calls as Casey falls to the ground, unconscious.

“Chief, Casey’s down!” Cruz calls into the radio as he and Herrmann crouch down beside their unconscious lieutenant.

“What happened?”

“He just collapses out of nowhere, chief!” Herrmann answers, checking Casey’s pulse.

“Dawson, call for another ambulance. Herrmann, Brett, take care of Casey. Everyone else, focus on the call,” Boden orders.

“Main, this is ambo 61 requesting another ambo at the scene.”

“Main to 61, copy.”

“Hey, Lieutenant? Can you hear me?” Brett asks, rubbing his sternum. Casey head turns and he lets out a low groan. 

Herrmann looks up to see everyone else working on the clown. Some of the kids are crying and Herrmann wonders why none of the adults had gotten them out of here. 

“Hey, Lieutenant. Open your eyes,” Brett instructs as Casey groans again, his head lolling. 

“Is everything ok?” 

Herrmann looks up to see two of the clowns standing over them. He can hear Brett suppressing a shriek and grins, shaking his head. He was definitely teasing her about that later. 

Just then Casey’s eyes open and he blinks before looking around. His eyes land on the clowns and Herrmann watches as an expression of pure terror replaces the hazy blankness before Casey’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he passes out again, his head smacking the hard concrete. 

Herrmann looks up as two more paramedics head in, a gurney in between them.

“Over here!” He calls and with a doubtful glance at the injured clown, head over.

“What happened?” One of them, their name tag reading S. Grant, asks.

“Not sure. He collapsed out of nowhere. He woke up for a few seconds but then passed out again,” Brett explains. 

“No hospital. I refuse treatment,” Casey mutters, eyes still shut, and Brett looks down in surprise. 

“Lieutenant-,” She starts before he cuts her off, his pale face scrunched up in annoyance.

“No. Hospital. Just take me back to the station,” he orders before he passes out again, his body going limp.

With a frustrated sound, Brett turns to the other paramedics who shrug. 

“Nothing we can do,” Grant says. “It isn’t a life threatening injury and he’s made his wishes clear.”

Upon seeing her worried expression, the other paramedics turns to her.

“It’s probably just low blood sugar or something. He was aware when he woke up,” she tries to reassure Brett who nods. The other paramedics leave after being called to a car accident, leaving Brett and Herrmann sitting beside Casey’s unconscious form.

“Hey, Brett!” Dawson calls as she and Severide load the clown onto the stretcher. “We’re ready to go. You’re driving!” 

Brett stands up and, with one last worried glance at Casey, helps Dawson get the gurney into the back.

“What happened? Why isn’t he going with them?” Severie asks, looking down at his friend. 

“He refused medical treatment,” Herrmann shrugs. Severide frowns but crouches down to shake Casey's shoulder.

“Hey, Case. Time to wake up, man,” he says. Herrmann is about to tell him that what he was doing wouldn’t work when Casey’s eyes flutter open. He stares up at the ceiling for a second before blinking and looking around in confusion.

“What happened?” Casey asks as Severide and Herrman help him up, the rest of truck and squad watching, worriedly.

“You collapsed. Like out of nowhere.”

Severide knows the exact moment Casey remembers what happened when he grimaces and looks behind him, paling again.

“Case, you alright?” He asks.

“Get me out of here, Sev,” Caey mumbles, quiet enough for only Severide and Herrmann to hear.

“You got it, buddy.”


	4. D - Daredevil

“This,” Shay says as she finishes wrapping the bandage around Severide’s head, “is what you get for trying to be a daredevil.”


	5. E - Energy

“So, what are we doing today?” The new candidate asks, practically bouncing off the walls.

Casey shrugs, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand.

“Can we do some drills? I’ve been wanting to practice that ladder drill they make us do at the academy! Or I could clean? My friend Milo said that the lieutenants always make the candidates clean! When will we get a call? The paramedics got a call already. I think we should get one next. You know-.”

Severide snorts as he takes in the rambling candidate and Casey’s *It’s too early for this shit expression*. Remembering Casey’s policy on morning people, he heads over, an extra coffee in hand.

Casey takes it with a grateful grunt and sits down on the couch, the ball of energy eagerly sitting down beside him to continue to one sided conversation.


	6. F - Food Poisoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Vomiting

“I am going to kill Mills,” Casey announces to nobody in particular as he kneels on the floor, hovering above his garbage can. 

The whole station had been laid up after Mills had made hamburgers and not cooked them enough. Casey had been one of the unlucky ones who didn’t get a stall in the washroom before everything started. 

Another gag wracks his body and Casey pushes his head back into the garbage bin as he finally throws up, vomit splashing against the bottom of the (Thankfully lined) garbage can. 

“Fuck,” he groans as his stomach cramps again. 

He could see Severide through the glass door of his office, curled up on one of the many bunks with his arms wrapped around his stomach. Deciding he was safe to move, Casey stands up and opens his door. He takes small, careful, steps until he reaches Severide’s side. Severide looks up, his eyes filled with pain.

“You look like shit,” Matt says, sitting on the edge of the bunk Severide had claimed. 

“Just let me die in peace,” Kelly groans, halfheartedly giving Casey a kick to the butt.

“You can come die in my office if you want,” Matt offers. He knew it must be killing Kelly to have his team see him like this and he knew for a fact that Kelly wasn’t going to be able to get to his office. Severide grunts his approval for the idea and Casey gives him a hand up, each of them supporting the other as they start towards Casey’s office.

Casey opens the door and practically shoves Severide inside before his stomach rebels and he falls to his knees next to the garbage can again, heaving. Severide groans in response, grateful he wasn’t a sympathetic puker unlike some people (*cough cough* Matt).

Somebody opens the door and Casey looks up to see Boden standing there, looking uncomfortable and holding two bottles of Gatorade. Boden and Connie were the only ones left unaffected as they had been too busy for lunch. Now they were even busier, running around trying to help everyone. 

“Chief,” Casey says, looking up from the trash can. He can tell from Boden’s expression that he must look like shit. “Can we fire Mills?”

The only response he gets is a shake of the head before turns his attention to Severide.

“Red or blue?” Boden asks. 

“Blue, thanks,” Severide says, uncapping the drink and taking a sip. Boden hands Casey the remaining drink and Casey accepts it, wondering why Severide got first pick when Casey was the one puking his guts up.

“Thanks, chief,” Casey says, struggling to open his bottle. Severide grabs it from him and cracks it open before handing it back.

“Is there anything else you need?” Boden asks.

“No thanks, chief,” Severide says as Casey takes a long drink of his Gatorade. As soon as he swallows, his stomach rebels, sending it right back up again. Casey hurries to turn back to the can as he gags and sputters, choking up red, liquidy vomit. Boden nods and backs out with a grimace.

“This is the worst,” Casey groans as soon as Boden’s gone and Severide gives him a sympathetic pat on the back. Casey yawns, exhausted from being sick and leans against the bed, asleep before he’s even aware of what’s happening. Connie comes by a few minutes later and, upon seeing the two sleeping Lieutenants, returns with two fluffy blankets. 

Opening the glass door, she tucks one around Casey who squirms a little but doesn’t wake up and lays one over Severide who opens his eyes, confused. A look from Connie has him closing his eyes again, already fast asleep. Connie leaves after that but not before turning the lights off and wishing the two sleeping lieutenants a good sleep.


	7. G - Glass

Casey yawns, pressing a hand against his mouth. It was about four in the morning, way too early to be up but ambo had gotten a call and he wasn’t able to get back to sleep. 

Casey stands up, deciding to grab a glass of warm milk with honey, something his dad used to make him when he was young. He’s walking towards the door when he suddenly trips over something, pitching forwards into the glass door, shattering it on impact. The sound of shattering glass is deafening in the otherwise quiet firehouse as he and Casey freezes, waiting to see if anyone heard. Sure enough, he hears people whispering, unsure of what just happened.

Casey moves him hand to push himself up and immediately feels sharp pain all over his body. A quick look confirms that he had multiple shards of glass stuck in his body, none life threatening.

He hears footsteps coming over to investigate and sighs, preparing himself for the inevitable teasing.

~~~

The sound of glass shattering cuts through the silent firehouse, waking Severide from his light sleep. With a groan, he forces himself out of bed to go check it out. He hears some of the guys whispering, arguing about who would see what happened and shakes his head, heading down the hall to see for himself.

He comes to a stop outside Casey’s office, surprised to see the truck lieutenant lying on the ground amid a bunch of broken glass with a dazed look on his face.

“Shit, Casey. Don’t move,” Severide instructs, stepping over the broken glass to give his friend a hand up. Casey accepts the hand up and stands in the middle of the room, shivering. 

“Sorry I woke you up,” Casey apologizes, looking at the piece of glass in his arm with a mild interest.

“Hey, it’s fine. Let’s get you patched up,” Kelly says, grabbing Casey’s boots from beside his bed and handing them to his friend. Casey nods his thanks and slips them on, wincing as it jostles a piece of glass stuck in his shin.

Casey turns around to grab his coat and Severide feels his heart stop. Stuck in Casey’s back is a huge shard of glass, blood spreading on the back of Casey’s gray lieutenants shirt. Casey turns again, and upon seeing Severide’s expression, frowns.

“What is it?” He asks, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“Nothing. Everything’s fine. Just sit here and don’t move,” Kelly tells him before rushing out of the office and into the bunk room. He flickers the lights, prompting groans from anyone who had slept through the glass shattering. 

“Where’s ambo?” Kelly asks, arms crossed. 

“They’re out on a call,” Capp tells him, putting a pillow over his head.

Cursing, Kelly turns the lights off again and heads to Boden’s office. He knocks on the door, waking Boden up.

“Severide, what-,” he starts, clearly annoyed at being woken up at four thirty in the morning.

“Chief, you need to come see this,” Severide says, leading the chief to Casey’s office.

“What-,” Boden starts to ask, stopping when Kelly shakes his head.

“Hey, Case. You doing ok?” Kelly asks, putting a hand on his friends shoulder.

“I’m fine. What’s going on, Sev?” He asks, turning to face his friend and giving Boden a full view of the shard impaling his back.

“Son of a-,” Boden starts before Severide shakes his head frantically. 

“Chief, what’s going on?” Casey asks again, turning his head to try and see his back. Neither one answers, not wanting to scare him.

“Fine. If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out for myself,” Casey scowls, heading to the washroom to check his back in the mirror.

“Matt! Wait!” Kelly shouts, trying to get his friend to stop walking. Casey ignires him, opening the door of the washroom and turning around.

“Oh my god,” he breathes upon seeing the shard of glass impaling him.

“Yeah.”

“That’s not good, is it?” Casey asks, eyeing the glass.

“Nope.”

“Lieutenants, chief, ambo’s back from their call,” Herrmann tells them, popping his head in. 

“Holy shit!” He cries out suddenly, staring at Casey’s back.

“Yeah, I know,” Casey says. 

“Come on, Case. We need to get you to the hospital,” Kelly says, grabbing Casey’s arm and leading him towards the gurney that Dawson and Brett have waiting outside the washroom.

To their credit, neither one of the paramedics say anything when they see Casey’s back, only their eyes widening.

Does he know? Brett mouths in Severide’s direction and he nods.

“Alright, Lieutenant. Let’s get you to the med,” Brett says, wheeling the gurney over to the ambulance. She stays in the back with him while Dawson drives, talking to Casey and reassuring him.

The ride to the hospital goes by fairly quickly and soon enough, Casey’s being prepped for surgery.


	8. H - Head Injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Vomiting

“Lieutenant!” Otis calls as a warning when he sees a piece of wood falling from above. 

Casey turns to look at him, unaware as the wood strikes him on the head. Casey blinks once, a dazed expression on his face, before his eyes roll into the back of his head and he crumples to the ground.

“Herrmann!” Otis calls and they race to their Lieutenant’s side, dragging him away from the rest of the falling wood.

“Where are Brett and Dawson?” Cruz asks as they lay Casey down in the grass behind the truck.

“They took the kid to Med,” Kidd asks, coming over to check on Casey.

The three of them stand there, unsure of what to do. Otis is about to suggest taking him to the Med in the back of the truck when Casey’s eyes open and he immediately shuts them again, groaning as the sun assaults his sensitive eyes.

“Hey Lieutenant, nice of you to join us,” Herrmann jokes, crouching down beside him.

“What happened?” Casey asks, opening his eyes a slit.

“Those idiots on squad dropped a piece of wood on your head,” Herrmann says, sending a glare in squads direction despite knowing that they can’t see it. “You probably have a concussion.”

Casey shrugs, pushing himself up. He would have tipped right back over if Otis hadn’t grabbed onto his arm, keeping him steady. Against his will, Casey lets out a low groan, the sudden change in altitude making his stomach feel all wonky.

“Hey, maybe you should sit down, Lieutenant,” Kidd suggests, clearing a few bottles of water away from the back of the truck so Casey can sit.

“Hey! What happened?” Severide asks, coming over. Behind him, Tony and Capp are helping the paramedics from station 44 load an old man into the ambo.

“One of your guys dropped a piece of wood on his head!” Herrmann shouts, glaring at him.

“Shit. Case, you ok?” Kelly asks, putting a hand on Matt’s shoulder.

“Hmm? Yeah, no, I’m great. Perfect actually,” Casey says, his words slurring slightly. 

“Casey, you have a concussion. You should really go to Med,” Severide tells him.

“I’m fine, Sev,” Casey says with a glare. 

“Case-.”

“We’re heading out!” Casey calls, standing up. He stumbles a few steps as his crew watches him with worry before he gets his balance back and swings himself into the passenger seat.

“Lieutenant-,” Otis starts before Casey cuts him off with a wave of the hand.

“I’m not going to the hospital, Otis. I’m perfectly fine.”

Otis nods, not wanting to get in trouble for pressing the issue.

They get back to the firehouse a few minutes later and Casey immediately quarantines himself in his office, only coming out when Kidd calls him for lunch.

Casey takes a seat at the table and stares at his food, unsure how his stomach would react if he were to take a bite. He feels everybody’s eyes on him, obviously waiting for an opportunity to make him go to Med. In a moment of defiance, Casey takes a bite, then another and another. 

He finishes his plate before he knows it and stands up to put it in the sink. As soon as he stands up, his stomach gives a sharp twist and Casey has to fight to keep his stomach contents where they belong.

“Hey Lieutenant, you ok? You’re looking a little green,” somebody, probably Herrmann, observes. 

Casey’s stomach twitches again and he feels bile rushing up the back of his throat. He lets the plate drop on the table with a clatter and sprints to the washroom, a hand over his mouth. He passes the squad table and sees Severide standing up to follow him. 

Casey makes it to the washroom just in time. He falls to his knees in front of the toilet just as his stomach rebels, half digested chunks of beef and potatoes splattering against the water.

“Case? You ok?” Severide’s voice asks, filling the small room.

Casey groans in response as his stomach rebels again. Severide crouches down beside him, a hand on his shoulder. They stay like that for about ten minutes as Casey’s stomach purges itself. 

His stomach seems to calm down after a while and Casey leans his forehead against the cool toilet seat.

“Here,” Severide says, handing him some toilet paper to wipe his chin. 

“You fucking squad guys. This is your fault,” Casey grumbles, reaching up to flush the toilet.

“I’m really sorry about that, Matt. I’ll talk to them,” Kelly apologizes. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

“I’m fine.”

“Case-.”

“I’m fine!” 

Severide only nods, resolving to go to Boden the moment Casey’s not looking.


	9. I - Insomnia

“Casey?” 

Casey looks up to see Severide coming towards him, an empty glass in his hand.

“You can’t sleep either?” Casey asks, checking the time left on the microwave.

“Yeah,” Severide nods, putting the glass in the sink and taking a seat, propping his feet up to the table.

“We eat on there you know,” Casey tells him. 

Severide watches as pauses the microwave when it’s at two seconds and takes out a glass of milk, putting a spoonful of honey in and swirling it around. Severide resists the urge to smile. For as long as he had known Casey, the truck lieutenant had been making warm milk with honey whenever he couldn’t sleep. Severide was pretty sure it started sometime during his childhood.

“You up for a game of golf?” Severide asks, swinging his feet onto the floor and standing up in one fluid motion.

“Golf?” 

“It's a card game. I’ll teach you.”

Casey nods, sipping his milk and hissing when it burns his tongue.

It’s around three in the morning and fourteen games later when Casey yawns as he deals out the cards, not realizing that Severide was already asleep. Casey lies his head down on the table, his cards still in hand and closes his eyes, promising himself that he was only resting for a few minutes.


	10. J - Jealous

“What do you have against her?!?” Casey shouts when Severide makes another snarky comment about his girlfriend, Kenya.

“She’s not right for you, Casey! And you’re too blind to see it!”

“What are you, jealous?!” Casey yells, wondering why Severide was so invested in his love life all of a sudden.

“Yes! Yes I am! God Dammit Casey! I wish I were her every time you kiss her! I wish I was in her place every time you look at her like she’s your entire world! I wish you looked at me like that! I wish it was me you woke up each to morning! I wish it was me taking you to the movies or out to dinner or buying a million stuffed animals! I wish you had chosen me but you were so fucking blind! Goddammit, Casey!” Severide shouts, suddenly conscious of the rest of the crew watching them. 

“I can’t deal with this right now, Sev,” Casey tells him, jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, his crew following behind loyally.


	11. K - Kidnapped

“81 to main. Requesting squad unit at-,” Casey’s cut off suddenly, frantic screams of terror replacing his calm voice. 

“Stop struggling!” A slapping sound and a cry of pain punctuates the end of the sentences. There’s an odd squelching sound and another cry of pain before the radio cuts off, silence filling the empty space.

“81? 81, do you copy? 81?” 

Kelly puts his head in his hands as he listens to the tape for what seems like the millionth time. It had been three months since Casey had been taken, the blood covering the front seat of the truck the only sign that he had been there at all. It had been two hours since Boden had told him that the police had given up looking for Casey, the case having officially gone cold.

Kelly slams his hand into his wall, leaving a fist sized hole behind, before he slides down the wall, sobbing. 

~~~

About a month later, in the middle of lunch, a loud thump sounds through the station followed by a hoarse cry for help. The two crews leap up, rushing outside to find out what’s going on. 

Kelly’s heart stops beating when he looks down to see Casey lying on the ground outside, naked and covered in blood. His arms and legs are bound and there’s a blindfold over his eyes.

“Casey! Oh my god!” Severide shouts, kneeling beside his best friend and gathering him up into his arms, hugging him tight as Casey sobs, clutching at his friend’s jacket. Boden comes over, draping his turnout coat over Casey’s bare body. Severide takes out his pocket knife to cut the ropes and blindfold off.

“Sev?” Casey mumbles, sobbing harder when he sees his friends face.

“Hey, Matty. I’m here. It’s ok. I’m here,” Kelly repeats, rubbing Casey’s back as he cries. He can see people on the sidewalk stopping to stare. 

He shoots the bystanders a look and focuses on helping Casey, knowing somehow that everything would be ok now.


	12. L - Late

“Hey, Case?” Severide calls, knocking on Casey’s office door. It was about nine and he still hadn’t seen Casey. There’s no answer so Severide pushes the door open and peek inside. There’s nobody there and the bed is made. There was no sign that anybody had been there recently.

Sevride turn around just as Casey comes limping through the door, clothes torn and blood dripping down his face. There’s multiple cuts and bruises on his arms and Severide has no doubt that there’s more on the rest of his body.

“What happened to you?!” Kelly asks, heading over and throwing Casey arm over his shoulders. He looked like he was about to pass out and Kelly didn’t want to deal with that.

“Got hit by a car,” Matt mumbles before going limp. Severide struggles to keep his friend upright and luckily Casey’s eyes open a few seconds later and he rightens himself with a murmured apology.

“Why aren’t you at a hospital right now?” Kelly asks as he helps his friend sit down on one of the bunks in the bunk room. Considering Matt had already passed out once, Severide was doubtful he could make it the few extra feet to his office.

“Come on. Arms up,” Kelly orders, pulling Casey’s shirt off as he mumbles some joke about buying him dinner first.

Severide’s pleasantly surprised at the lack of injuries on Casey’s back and torso. Apart from a few normal cuts and bruises, there’s hardly any marks on his sculpted chest. 

“Done staring?” Casey asks and Severide flushes red because dammit he was supposed to be helping Matt not crushing on his best friend.

“I wasn’t staring,” Kelly protests before standing up to grab some medical supplies from the locker room.

“Stay awake and don’t you dare move,” Severide orders, trying to get some semblance of control back as he glances back at Casey’s bare chest.

“Bossy.”

Severide’s quick with his supply run, not wanting Casey to slip into a coma while he’s gone. Severide’s back in about two minutes and is slightly surprised to see Casey still there, exactly how Kelly had left him. 

Severide goes about cleaning the little cuts and scrapes, bandaging the ones that need it. He’s about to pack up the supplies when Casey shyly tells him to stop. 

Severide watches as Casey undoes the button on his jeans and slides them down a bit, revealing black boxers and more importantly, a pretty bad gash along his left thigh.

“Shit, Case,” Kelly breathes, struggling to keep his gaze on the injury and not well… elsewhere.

“Yeah I know. Some idiot came out of nowhere,” Casey tells him.

“Did you walk?”

“Yeah. Car broke down and I missed the bus.” 

Matt flinches as Severide cleans the cut, the antiseptic wipe stinging.

“You could’ve called me.”

“I didn’t know if you had left already.”

“I would have picked you up anyways,” Kelly tells him. In that moment (And many others) he would have done anything for Matt.


	13. M - Meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one features autistic!casey.
> 
> Tw for autistic meltdowns, mention of blood and hurting oneself.

When Cruz had first seen Casey scratching at his arm, he had immediately dismissed, having had no reason to find it odd. But when the lieutenant hadn’t stopped scratching after about a minute, Cruz was starting to get worried. Especially since he could see red on Casey’s skin from where he had drawn blood.

“Hey, Lieutenant? You ok?” Cruz asks, glancing over at the lieutenant.

He doesn’t get a response and upon further inspection, Cruz realizes that the lieutenant was most definitely not alright. Now that he was paying attention, he could hear a keening sound coming from the lieutenant, who had now started rocking in his seat, hesitantly at first before finding a rhythm.

“Lieutenant? What’s wrong? Did you hit your head? What’s going on?” Cruz asks, putting a hand on Casey’s shoulder. Casey reacts immediately, flinching away and rocking faster, smacking his head against his seat every time he goes back. 

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” Herrmann calls from the back, turning around in his seat.

“I don’t know! Something’s wrong with Casey, chief. He’s completely freaking out!” Cruz yells into the radio, trying to focus on keeping the truck on the road as well as making sure his lieutenant didn’t hurt himself. By this time, Casey’s keening was loud enough that the men in the back can hear it and his scratching had increased in speed, his arm nearly covered in blood.

“What do you mean?” Boden asks. 

“I think he hit his head or something. He’s hitting his head against the seat and he’s scratching his arm. Like really bad. There’s blood. And he’s making this weird noise.”

“Cruz, try to keep him from scratching or put something in between his hand his arm. Be quiet and don’t touch him unless you have to. Pull into the Walmart parking lot up ahead and we’ll join you,” Severide orders, ignoring the questions from his own men.

“Got it. What’s going on, though? Is he ok?” Cruz asks, seeing the lieutenant covering his ears with one hand and his shoulder. 

“Just do it, Cruz!”

Severide’s shout causes Casey to flinch and Cruz can see tears leaking out of the lieutenants eyes. As if Severide can see Casey’s reaction, he sighs and apologizes.

“Sorry, Case.”

Casey doesn’t react and instead keeps clawing his arm. Cruz, remembering what Casey said, grabs Casey’s arm, covering the area Casey had been scratching. Casey continues scratching, his nails raking the back of Cruz’s hand. Cruz winces but doesn’t let go, doing his best to pull into the parking lot with only one hand. He pulls to a stop along the far edge and Squad pulls in a few seconds later, Boden and ambo coming in behind them. 

Severide opens his door and heads towards Casey’s door, opening it and crouching down beside Casey.

“Hey, Case. I know you can hear me. Everythings ok. I’m going to take you into the squad rig with me and Tony’s going to come sit over here. Okay?”

Casey doesn’t react and Severide grabs him by the shoulders, guiding him out of the truck and onto the pavement. Severide looks up to see people staring at the distressed firefighter, some people taking their phones out to film. Severide glares at them, trying his best to shield Casey from their prying eyes. What kind of people would film something like this?! Casey was in pain and these people were acting like it was some sort of entertainment!

With a scowl, Severide opens the door to the back of the squad rig and motions for Tony to get out. Severide lightly pushes Casey to sit down, sitting down beside him. 

“Matt, you need to stop scratching. You’re hurting yourself,” Severide says, lightly holding Casey’s wrist to stop him from scratching. Casey flinched, the keening sound getting louder and starts banging his head against the seat. 

“Matt, please,” Severide pleads, putting his hand behind Casey’s to cushion it. Capp starts driving back to the station and although he’s not sure what’s happening, he knows better than to ask right now. 

Casey stops making the keening sound about halfway back to the station and although he’s still rocking, he’s not hitting his head against the seat anymore. Kelly lets go of his wrist and instead wraps his arms around Casey, holding him tight. Casey accepts the hug, though he doesn’t return the gesture. 

After a few seconds Casey pulls back and Capp sees him sign something to Severide who nods. Casey sighs and signs again, moving a fist in a circle on his chest. 

“You don’t need to apologize, Case. These things happen. It’s not your fault,” Severide tells him. 

They get to the station and when the lieutenants don’t move to leave, Capp turns around.

“Hey, lieutenants? We’re here,” he says, looking at Casey. 

“Thanks Capp. We’ve got it,” Severide says, a clear dismissal.

Capp leaves, heading towards the squad table to wait for the rest of the crew. Truck pulls in a few seconds later and everyone hops out, Tony immediately heading for the squad table to plop down beside Capp and look towards him.

“So what happened?” He asks.

“I don’t know. It was really weird. Casey was having some sort of fit and Severide was just sitting with him and not really doing anything about it.”

“It does sound pretty weird. Maybe he had a mental breakdown or something?”

“Could be. I’m sure they’ll explain later,” Capp tells him just as ambo and Boden pull in. 

Boden gets out of his truck and upon seeing everyone fixated on the squad rig, heads over. He bangs on the door a couple times and Severide opens it. They talk quietly for about a minute before Severide opens the door and comes out, Casey right beside him. 

Everyone’s eyes turn to Casey, taking in his appearance. His face was pale, tear tracks clearly visible and his arm was bleeding freely. He signs something to Severide who signs back and Casey nods. Upon noticing them staring at him, Casey puts his head down, staring at his feet as he and Severide shuffle towards his office, Severide glaring at anyone who didn’t look away. Boden waits until both Casey and Severide are in the office and the door is closed before speaking.

“I’m sure you all have questions about what just happened. Severide and I will explain everything in a minute.”

Everyone goes back to their usual activities, Squad playing a game of Gin Rummy and Truck talking at the big table, the girls on ambo chiming in every few minutes from their spot on the couch, waiting for Severide to come out so they can find out what happened.

About half an hour later, Severide comes out of Casey’s room and heads towards Boden’s office. The two men come out after a few minutes and Boden motions for everyone to follow them to the briefing room. There’s a few seconds of silence before Severide speaks.

“Casey’s autistic,” he announces. 

“He’s what?” somebody calls. Severide ignores the interruption and keeps going.

“What you just witnessed is called an autistic meltdown and it wasn’t his fault. If I hear otherwise…” Severide trails off, letting his glare finish the threat for him. 

“Any questions?” Boden asks, surveying the room.

“What’s a meltdown?”

At this, both Boden an Severide look at each other, unsure of how to explain it. 

“It’s kind of… well…”

“Casey can explain it better than either one of us but basically when an autistic person’s gets overwhelmed, it’s an emotional reaction. It could happen because of a change in routine, sensory overload or countless other things,” Severide explains.

“Well what do we do if it happens again? How do we stop it?” Cruz asks.

“Once it’s started, there’s not really any way to stop it. Just try and get him to a quiet place,” Boden answers.

“And don’t touch him unless you have to. Try and stop him from hurting himself,” Severie adds, glancing out the window. 

“Autism isn’t just meltdowns is it?” 

“No. It’s a mix of things like social skills, sensory issues, speech, fine motor skills, and a bunch if other things. It’s a spectrum so one autistic person might have a lot of trouble with social skills but little to no difficulty with speech.”

“For Casey, he has a lot of trouble with sensory issues, picking up social cues and sometimes speech. He’s had to work hard on his social skills to get where he is right now and he still has trouble occasionally. Sometimes in stressful times or after a meltdown he goes non verbal. I’m sure you’ve noticed him and I signing back and forth. Casey knows ASL and we use it to communicate. He can still hear you even if he can’t speak,” Severide adds.

“Feel free to do your own research but that’s all the time we have right now to discuss this,” Boden says, glancing at the clock on the back wall. “Dismissed.”

Everyone leaves the room, chattering among themselves about the new information they’ve just received. The conversation is cut short when they see Casey grabbing a cup of coffee. 

Casey looks up, noticing them and angrily signs something to Severide who rolls his eyes and signs back. Casey gapes at him for a second and sets his coffee down so he has both hands available to sign something back. Severide grins and makes a shooing motion. Casey leaves with his coffee and everyone’s left wondering what just happened.

“So… what did he say?” Herrmann asks, speaking what everyone else was thinking.

“He thought I had said we would be in there until four thirty. The rest of it was mostly just cursing,” Severide tells them with a grin before heading off towards his office.


	14. N - Nausea

“Hey Sev? Do you have any Gravol or anything?” 

Severide looks up to see Casey standing in his doorway, pale with beads of sweat on his forehead and his arm wrapped delicately around his stomach.

“Jesus, Case,” Severide says, grabbing Casey’s shoulders and guiding him to lay on Severide’s bunk. 

“Sev, I’m fine. I just need some Gravol or something if you have it,” Casey says, trying to sit up. 

“Stay here.”

Severide takes off so quickly and returns a few seconds later, thermometer in hand.

“I don’t need that!” Casey protests, gagging as Kelly shoves it in his mouth.

“Put it under your tongue,” Severide orders. Casey rolls his eyes but humours him, putting it under his tongue and closing his mouth around.

“103.7. Jesus Casey,” Severide says, draping a blanket over Casey’s shoulder and texting the chief to let him know Casey would be out of commision for the rest of the shift.

“I’m fine, Sev. I just need some Gravol.”

“Are you nauseous?” Severide asks and Casey gives him a What do you think? look.

“Right. Are you going to throw up?” 

“No. I just need some Gravol.”

“I’ll see if I can find some. If you do need to puke, the garbage is right there,” Severide tells him and takes off before taking off, not giving Casey another chance to protest.

Casey huffs but stay where he is until Severide returns a few minutes later. 

“Hey. Boden had some. And he said you’re off for the rest of the shift.”

“Why would you tell him?!” Casey snaps, pausing when his stomach twinges unpleasantly.

“Because you’re sick, Casey!” Severide tells him, handing him two tablets of Gravol.

“I said I was fine. I’m just a little nauseous,” Casey protests but downs the Gravol anyways.


	15. O - Overwhelmed

“Casey, remember to get the paperwork done by next shift,” Boden tells him as they pass each other in the hall. 

“You got it, Chief.” 

Casey heads towards his office, ready to start on his paperwork, when Otis stops him.

“Hey Captain? I need next shift off. My cousins are coming into town and they wanted me to show them around.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Casey promises.

Otis had barely left before Herrmann and Mouch come running over.

“Casey! Do you have a second?” Mouch asks, grabbing his sleeve. Casey stiffens but Mouch doesn’t seem to notice has he launches into a long rant about why they should get a new station pet.

“Guys, I’m sorry. I’m really busy right now, can we talk later?” Casey says, interrupting Mouch. Mouch nods and he and Herrmann leave.

Casey’s nearly to his office when the candidate stops him with a hesitant “Captain?”

“What do you want?!” Casey snaps, whirling around to face the candidate.

“Um nevermind. It’s ok,” he says, starting to turn away.

“No. I’m sorry. What did you need?” Casey asks, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s not important.”

The candidate leaves and Casey finally gets to his office. He sits at his desk, eyeing the pile of paperwork on his desk.

I should have stayed a Lieutenant.


	16. P - Pneumonia

“Hey, Case. What’s with all the layers?” Severide asks, eyeing Casey’s jackets. Casey shrugs. He was wearing his gray captains shirt, a CFD hoody, his navy captains fleece and on top of that a black jacket. And he was still shivering.

“I’m just cold,” Casey answers, trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

Before Casey can react, Severide had pressed the inside of his wrist to Casey’s forehead. 

“Jesus, Case. You’re burning up.”

“I’m fine,” Casey tells him, a tickle in his throat forcing him to cough.

“You have a cold or something?” Herrmann asks, heading over after hearing Casey’s deep, wracking coughs.

“Probably,” Casey mutters before disappearing into his office.

~~~

Severide didn’t see Casey again until lunch, when they were all sitting at the table ready to eat. Casey looked a lot worse than he did earlier. His cheeks were flushed and there was sweat beading on his forehead. Not to mention he was barely eating, mostly just pushing it around his plate. Severide could also hear a wheezing sound coming from Casey whenever the truck captain took a breathe. 

Severide exchanges a glance with Herrmann and both of them look towards Casey. It wasn’t hard to tell that something was wrong with the captain. Neither one of them says anything until halfway through the meal when Casey erupts into a coughing fit, doubling over from the force of it. His fork clatters to his plater with a clang as Casey struggles to get a breathe in.

The fit finally ends and Casey leans back in his chair, face red and tears starting to leak from his eyes. Everyone continues eating in silence during which the only sound is a quiet wheezing coming from Casey.

As soon as lunch finishes Casey disappears again, possibly to his quarters though nobody is certain. 

~~~

It was around three in the morning when Casey woke up from his light sleep, unable to get a breathe in. In a daze, he opens the door to his quarters and heads to Boden’s office, knocking on the door. 

“Casey? What’s going on?” Boden asks, yawning.

“I can’t breathe,” Casey manages to get out before everything starts spinning and he reaches a hand out to steady himself.

“Sit down,” Boden instructs, lowering him to the floor. “I’ll be right back.”

Casey watches, still trying to get a breathe in, as Boden heads to the bunk room, flicking on the lights and calling for Brett and Kidd.

“What’s going on?” Kidd asks, rubbing her eyes.

“Casey’s having trouble breathing,” Boden informs her, leading them towards Casey, who’s still sitting against the wall, gasping for breath.

“Hey Captain,” Brett greets as she drops down beside him. She turns towards Kidd, whispering “Go get an oxygen mask.”

Brett turns to Casey and lifts puts a hand on his shoulder as she takes his pulse. Stella gets back, running over and handing Brett the oxygen mask.

“Alright, captain. Just take a deep breathe for me,” Brett instructs as she puts the mask to his face. Casey tries taking a deep breathe and erupts into a coughing fit.

“Hey, nice and easy. That’s it,” Kidd says as his breathing start to even out. 

“We’re going to get you to the Med now. Is that ok Captain?” Brett asks, surprised when Casey hesitates before nodding once.

“Great. Do you think you walk?” Brett asks, offering him an arm up. Casey accepts it with a nod but as soon as he’s upright, he starts tilting to the side and would have fallen over if Boden hadn’t grabbed his arm, steadying him. Casey nods in his direction, the mask preventing him from thanking the chief verbally.

They make their way over to the ambulance, Boden and Stella hovering nearby just in case. They get to the ambulance and Casey sits down on the bench in the back with a look that dares them to make him move.

Kidd, Brett and Casey take off for the Med and Boden returns to his office anxiously.

~~~

The next morning everyone’s up bright and early, ready for the shift change.

“Hey chief?” Boden glances up when Herrmann calls him. “Where’s Casey?” 

“He was taken to the hospital last night,” Boden tells him, completely forgetting that he hadn’t told them.

Herrmann stares at him and Boden takes that opportunity to get everyone’s attention.

“Listen up! Casey was taken to the Med last night because of difficulty breathing. The doctors said it’s pneumonia and he will be off for a few weeks while he recovers,” Boden informs them and everyone starts talking all at once. 

“Alright, alright! To answer a few of your questions, yes, he will be alright. No, he cannot have any visitors. I’ll find a replacement for next shift. Anything else?” Boden asks. Nobody says anything, Boden having apparently answered all their questions. “Good. Dismissed.”


	17. Q - Quarantine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Also, I’m going to post R but there won’t be an actual chapter, just a filler. I’m completely stuck on it and it’s affecting the rest of the chapters. I’ll come back to it later but for now, it will remain...  
UNSOLVED!
> 
> (Or unfinished)

Casey hops out of the truck and is immediately stopped by a lieutenant from another station coming towards him.

“What’s going on?” Casey asks, meeting him halfway.

“Electrical fire. Everybody’s out but the building is unstable. We can’t have anybody going in.”

Casey nods and turns towards his team. “You heard the man. Nobody goes in.”

He’s met with sounds of agreement and nodding. Satisfied, Casey heads over to where Boden and Severide are talking to the chief of the other station, catching the last part of what the other chief is saying.

“...landlord is a man named Alan Bennett. His neighbours say he’s on vacation for the summer and will be back in October. Nobody can reach him.”

“What can we do then?” Severide asks, restless as ever.

“Just standby for now, help out with the triage. The fire was put out by a concerned neighbor who’s on her way to med as we speak. We also…”

Casey stops paying attention when he sees a little girl start running towards the building.

“Hey!” He calls, running after her. He ignores the shouts to come back and not go in the building but it’s too late and Casey barely gives it a second thought as he runs in after the girl. 

“Mommy! Where’s mommy?” The girl shouts, sobbing.

“Hey sweetie. The building isn’t safe, we have to go,” Casey tells her.

“My name’s Kelly. I can’t find my mommy,” the girl tells him.

“Kelly, huh? My best friend’s name is Kelly. My name is Matt.” 

Casey picks Kelly up in his arms, putting the mask on her face and starting towards the door.

“My brothers name is Matt,” Kelly tells him, sniffing a bit and grabbing his sleeve.

“What a coincidence.”

“A coincidence?”

“Somethings that happens by chance,” Casey explains. “Like if we were to wear the same shirt on the same day.”

“That’s cool!” Kelly exclaims. 

“Yeah, I guess it is. You know what Kelly? You’ve been really brave, I think you deserve to meet my friend, Kelly,” Casey suggests.

“I don’t want to meet the other Kelly. I want to find my mommy.”

“That’s fine. We can find your mom,” Casey says, taking the girls hand as they make their way out the door.

Casey leads the girl out and the two of them are immediately surrounded by firefighters, some familiar faces from 51, others from 67 or 59. The little girl starts crying again, clinging to Casey’s arm.

“Hey, it’s ok. Kelly, do you see that big fire truck right there?” Casey asks, trying to distract the girl. 

“Yeah,” she sniffs.

“Well, beside that truck is my other friend Kelly,” Casey explains, taking in Severide pacing the length of the truck.

“KELLY!” The girl shouts at the top of her lungs, causing Severide to look up. “MY NAME IS KELLY TOO!”

Severide pays her no attention, his sole focus on Casey. He starts running over but it pushed aside by a blond lady, bearing a striking resemblance to the small girl.

Both Severide and the other lady come running over as Casey helps the girl take the mask off.

Severide grabs Casey by the shoulders and looks him in the eye. 

“You are a grade A idiot.”

~~~

It was about a month before Casey started to feel a bit off. At first he had brushed it off, attributing the fever, headache, achiness and nausea to some sort of flu or cold. But when he had passed out at the station, he knew something was wrong.

They had just come back from a call, one that had left Casey tired, cranky and wondering why he even bothered. He had been on his way to his office, ready to take a nap or just lay down and read when he suddenly felt very dizzy, black dots invading his vision. Before he could even try to blink the dots away, he felt himself falling and that was all he knows before the dots took over, sending him into unconsciousness.

~~~

Boden had been on his way to his office when he had seen Casey, sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. A sense of panic filled him but he had pushed it down, trying to focus on helping Casey.

“Casey?” he calls, crouching down and putting a hand on Casey’s shoulder.

“Casey!” He calls louder, shaking his shoulder. Casey doesn’t react and Boden sits back on his heels, glancing around to see if there’s anyone nearby. 

“Hey! I need some help here!” He bellows and soon enough Severide and Herrmann come rushing in, followed by Otis, Criz and Kidd.

“What happened?” Severide asks, crouching down beside Casey and taking his pulse.

“Not sure. I found him like this,” Boden explains. Severide taps Casey’s cheek, eliciting a groan from the blond captain. 

“Casey?” Severide calls, tapping his cheek again. Casey’s eyes flutter open and he blinks up at them, confused.

“Hey, buddy. You doing ok?” Severide asks. Casey blinks at him again and turns his head to look at Boden.

“What’s going on?” Casey asks, his words slurring together slightly.

“Just relax, Captain. Brett and Dawson are getting the stretcher. Can you tell us what happened?” Kidd asks, balling up her hoodie and putting it under his head. 

Casey hums, his eyes trailing off to the left before fluttering shut.

“Hey, nonono! You have to keep your eyes open, Captain,” Herrmann says, tapping the blonds cheek.

Casey opens his eyes with a groan and looks up towards Boden.

“Captain,” Kidd calls. Casey’s eyes make their way over to her. “Do you remember what happened?” 

Casey mutters something unintelligible, his head lolling.

“What was that?”

“The key. It was in my backpack,” he mutters again, coughing. Severide grabs his hand and squeezes.

“Hey, Case. Relax. It wasn’t your fault,” he says. The other firefighters in the room, minus Boden, who had known about Casey’s past since he had transferred to 51, exchange confused looks. 

Just then Brett and Dawson return with the stretcher and a backboard, setting the backboard down beside Casey. 

“Alright. Roll him on three.”

Once Casey’s on the backboard, getting him onto the stretcher is a piece of cake and getting him into the ambulance is even easier. Leaving however, was more difficult.

They had gotten Casey into the ambulance and were about to close the door when he suddenly bolted upright and started yelling. 

“Sev! Sev!” Casey starts yelling, trying to get out of the ambulance. Brett and Dawson try to get him to sit back but even in his disoriented state, Casey’s stronger.

Casey flings his arms out, thrashing, and without meaning to, knocks the two girls aside. They land against the side of the ambulance, rocking it slightly while Boden and Herrmann step into the ambulance to hold Casey down.

“Sev! Sev! Kelly!” 

“Somebody get Severide over here! Now!” Boden yells, trying his best to duck Casey’s flailing limbs. 

One of Casey’s legs nails him in the stomach and he doubles over, his breath leaving him all at once. Herrmann manages to get Casey’s arms pinned down and Cruz and Otis rush over, each trying to pin one of the captains legs down. Boden’s leaning against the side of the ambulance, trying to get his breath back when Kidd comes running back, Severide two steps behind her.

“Casey!” Severide shouts and Casey immediately stops thrashing, going limp. Cruz, Otis and Herrmann look up, hesitantly letting go of Casey and retreating from the ambulance.

“Sev?” Casey asks, hesitantly, his voice small like a child’s.

“Hey bud, I’m here.” 

Casey hums at that, immediately calming down completely. Boden picks himself off the ground, still breathing heavily and with a nod to Severide and a wary glance at Casey, leaves the ambulance.

“Hey Captain? I’m just going to get you hooked onto the monitors, okay?” Brett says as they head off, Dawson in the driver's seat. Casey nods, staring at Severide with dazed eyes. 

They’re almost to the hospital when Casey lets out a cough, startling Severide and Brett. He coughs again, then again and Brett looks over, concerned.

“You okay, Captain?” She asks. Casey looks towards her and coughs again, this time with blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. 

“Oh my god,” she breathes.

“Dawson! ETA!” Severide shouts, wiping the blood from Casey’s mouth with his sleeve.

“Literally two seconds,” she calls back and sure enough, two seconds later, Casey’s being wheeled into the hospital as Kelly stares after him, not sure of what to do.

~~~

“Listen up!” Boden calls, stepping out into the main room. “That was Severide. The doctors suspect Casey has pulmonary anthrax but they’re doing a spinal tap to be sure.”

“Anthrax? How did he get anthrax?” 

“Is it contagious?”

“He’s going to be okay, right?”

“Can we see him?”

Boden holds up a hand to silence them and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“They don’t know how he came into contact with anthrax but they’re trying to figure it out. It isn’t contagious but he can’t have any visitors, his immune system is too weak. He’s essentially in quarantine,” Boden answers.

“For how long?” 

“Possibly a few months, worst case scenario, a year.” 

~~~

“That was Severide. The doctor’s confirmed that it’s pulmonary anthrax. They’re putting him on antibiotics for sixty days and they’re hoping it will work but you have to know that his high fever was a sign that the disease was in its later stages so the antibiotics… they might not work. I just want to prepare everyone if that’s the case,” Boden tells them, his expression grim. 

His words are met with a stunned silence, each one of them digesting the information in their head, trying to find the meaning of what they were told. 

“So he… he might…” Kidd starts, unable to finish. Boden nods and they lapse into another silence.

~~~

“Captain! Good to have you back!” Otis exclaims, clapping Casey on the back. Casey grins back at him, happy to finally be back at the station after three months of being stuck in quarantine at the hospital, the only company being the doctors in hazmat suits. And even after the three months at the hospital, he had been stuck with Severide for a month before he could go back to living on his own and return to work. All in all, it had been a lonely four months and he was glad to be back.

~~~

“Breaking News! A man named Alan Bennett has been arrested for terrorism. A lab in his house has been found to contain anthrax and it’s suspected that he has multiple other labs in buildings he owns. One of Bennett’s buildings was involved in a fire that happened around six months ago.”

“Hey, Case! Didn’t we respond to that fire?” 

“Yeah. You think that’s where I got anthrax?” 

“Probably.”

“Huh.”


	18. R

I’ll come back to this later as I said in the notes of the last chapter. If anyone has any advice, ideas or suggestions, I would love to hear them. Thanks!


	19. S - Seizure

“Hey Captain? You okay?” Otis asks, seeing Casey spaced out in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead. Casey blinks sluggishly and turns his head towards Otis.

“I think so,” Casey says doubtfully, his eyes fluttering.

“Do you want me to pull over?” Otis asks, seeing Casey paling.

“No, I-,” Casey starts before his eyes roll into the back of his head and his body starts convulsing.

“Oh shit,” Otis says as he hurries to pull the truck over.

“What’s going on?” Kidd calls from the back.

“I don’t know! I think Casey’s having a seizure! What do I do?” 

“Let’s get him out of the car. Are you sure it’s a seizure?” Kidd asks, opening her door and coming around to Otis’s side.

“I think so. His eyes are completely white and he’s jerking.”

“Holy shit,” Herrmann says, he and Mouch opening their door to give Kidd and Otis a hand. 

“Herrmann, help us get him onto the ground. Mouch, find something to cushion his head and radio Boden,” Kidd instructs.

Kidd, Otis and Herrmann manage to get Casey on the ground and they turn him on his side. Mouch hands Kidd a turnout coat to put under Casey’s head as he convulses, his head smacking against the pavement. 

“Hey Chief! We have a problem! Casey’s seizing!” Mouch calls into the radio as he and Herrmann roll Casey onto his side, white foam leaking from the blond captains mouth as he jerks.

“You know what to do. Take him to the med as soon as it stops.”

The seizure is scarily long, about two minutes, and by the time it’s over Casey’s body was trembling. A group of bystanders had gathered around them by this point, staring as Casey groans, coming to.

“Hey, Captain,” Kidd says quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?” Casey asks, turning his head.

“You had a seizure. Boden said to take you to med.”

“A seizure?” Casey asks, rubbing his sleeve across his mouth and frowning when the white foam rubs off.

“Yeah. Did you hit your head on the call?” 

“The call? What call?”

“How much do you remember?” Kidd asks.

“I… I remember playing cards with Severide but it’s all kinda… fuzzy.”

“Well, we have to get you to the med. Do you think you can ride in the truck or should we call for ambo?” Otis asks.

“I’m fine,” Casey says, pushing himself up. He sways for a second before finding his balance and taking a few unsteady steps towards the truck. 

“Hey Captain? Maybe you should sit in the back… Just in case,” Otis suggests and Casey glares at him before getting into the front seat. Otis shrugs and looks towards Herrmann. “Worth a try.”


	20. T - Tired

They get a call an hour and a half after everyone had arrived, something about a hockey arena on fire. Everyone rushes to the rigs, squad and engine heading out first. Truck’s about to leave when they collectively realize that Casey’s not on the rig.

“Somebody go get Casey!”

Kidd hops out of the rig, taking off towards the captain’s office. When she gets there, she sees him cured up in his bunk, looking surprisingly peaceful. 

“Captain!” She shouts, hating that she had to wake him up. Casey bolts upright, briefly disoriented.

“Huh?”

“We have a call!”

The two take off towards the rig, Otis pulling away as soon as they’re both in. They get to the fire in record time despite the original delay and Casey wastes no time barking out orders. 

Otis and Casey head into the arena, trying to find any kids from the hockey tournament. They split up at some point during the search, Casey isn‘t quite sure when, but Casey ends up near the now melted ice. He suddenly feels his vision spinning, his exhaustion taking its toll on him. Without any more warning he falls forward, landing unconscious in the water with a splash.

~~~

Otis finally makes it out of the building, two kids in full hockey gear right in front of him. His lungs burn, desperately calling out for oxygen as he rips his mask off, gasping.

“Otis! Where’s Casey?” 

Otis looks up at Severide’s question as he’s helped over to the ambulance. “I don’t know…”

“Did you split up? Where did he go?”

Otis goes to answer but doubles over in a harsh coughing fit. He manages to choke out a quick, “Rink,” before doubling over in another fit.

Severide wastes no time in putting his mask on before taking off into the building. He hears the loud beeping of Casey’s PASS alarm immediately and rushes towards it. He finds the captain lying unconscious in the waist deep water caused by the melting rink. 

Severide quickly wraps his arms around Casey’s torso, trying to drag the blond out of the water without getting touching the water himself. He manages to pull his friend out of the pool of water and quickly slings him over his shoulder. 

They're out of the arena in a minute and Severide’s carefully laying Casey down on the grass outside. “Brett! Foster!”

The two paramedics come running over, dropping to their knees beside the motionless captain. They work together to remove his helmet and turnout coat. 

“No spinal injuries, that’s good.” Brett observes.

“He’s got a pulse. A little weak but it's there.” Foster replies. “Let’s get him to the med.”

At that moment, Casey’s head twitches. 

“Casey? Open your eyes, hon,” Severide instructs.

Casey groans, his head pounding and the rest of his body feeling at though he had just walked through fire. 

“Captain?”

All at once, the captain’s body starts jerking as he seizes, his skin going white.

“He’s seizing!”

“Matt!”

“Get him to med!”

~~~

They had been waiting on news for the captain for around half an hour when a nurse grabbed their attention. “Captain Casey?”

“How is he?” 

“Is he okay?”

“Can we see him?”

The nurse holds up a hand to halt the flow of questions. “Your captain will be just fine. He’s burned up pretty badly and he has a moderate concussion but he will be back to work soon. I can ask if he’s up to visitors at the moment but he’s currently experiencing one of the less fun symptoms of concussions.”

Severide grimaces, knowing how much his boy hated being sick. 

“I’ll go in,” Severide announces, daring them to argue.

The nurse nods, leading him down the hall. They arrive at a room and she motions for him to wait. She opens the door and Severide can hear the sounds of somebody being sick. 

“Captain Casey?”

“Matt-,” Casey corrects before gagging again.”

“Matt, there’s somebody here to see you.” 

“Kel?”

Kelly takes that as his cue to head in. 

“Yeah, bud. I’m here.”

Casey smiles up at him. A small, sweet, dopey smile that just melts Kelly’s heart.

“Love you, Kel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this got out of hand.
> 
> For anyone who’s interested, i made a whump discord server. Feel free to join or share the link or something. 
> 
> https://discord.gg/3hp8MRW


	21. U - Useless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide, Depression

Casey sighs, feeling the familiar wave of hopelessness come over him. He was so goddamn useless, wasn’t he? He couldn’t save Andy. He couldn’t get the new candidate to listen. He couldn’t even fix his own relationship. 

Casey spares a glance at the drawer in his desk that he knew contained a bottle of pills, painkillers from one of his injuries that he didn’t take. It wasn’t the first time he had thought about ending it. Not by a long shot. 

The first time had been a few weeks after Andy had died. He had seen a car speeding down the street and had briefly considered jumping in front of it. He had banished that thought immediately, appalled and angry at himself to have even considered it.

The next time had been a few days after Hallie had died. He had been in the kitchen, cutting cucumbers and had grabbed the knife, fully prepared to make two identical cuts on both wrists when the doorbell rang, signalling Severide’s arrival.

The third time wasn’t after anything particularly traumatic, just another Saturday. He had been sitting in front of the tv, watching the game, when he had gotten up, heading towards the kitchen. He had just gotten the bottle of rat poison from the cupboard when the Black Hawks had scored, startling him enough to drop the bottle, spilling its contents into the sink.

But there was nobody to stop him now. Even if there was anybody in his office, Casey doubted they would care. He wasn’t their friend. He was their officer, nothing more. 

Having made up his mind, Casey ventures out into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of chocolate milk. If he was going to die, it might as well taste good.

“Hey, Captain! I need next shift off if that’s ok?” 

“I’ll take care of it later,” Casey promises, well aware that there would be no later.

“Great. Thanks!” 

Casey returns to his office with his glass of chocolate milk and sits down at his desk, the bottle of pills in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. He doesn’t bother closing the blinds as he starts to down the pills. He starts to feel a strange fuzzy feeling but forces himself to keep going until the bottle was empty. He leans his head back, feeling an odd sense of bliss. He distantly hears the empty pill bottle fall to the ground beside him along with the half empty glass of chocolate milk. He allows himself a small smile now that he’s finally at peace.

~~~

All units. Factory fire.

Everyone stands up at the alarm and hurries to gear up and get in the truck. It’s only when truck’s ready to leave when they notice their Captain isn’t with them.

“Where’s Casey?” Otis asks, looking into the back of the truck for answers. Everyone else shrugs and Otis climbs out of the truck, sprinting for Casey’s office.

“Captain!” He calls, knocking on the glass. 

The blinds are up and Otis can see Casey asleep in his chair and although he looks peaceful, something doesn’t seem quite right. Otis pushes the door open and cautiously approaches the sleeping captain. He foot kicks something and Otis looks down just in time to see an empty pill container roll across the floor. Horror fills him as he looks towards the blond captain. He quickly races to Casey’s side and tries taking his pulse. He feels his blood freeze when there’s nothing there, not even a fluttering.

Otis isn’t sure how long he stood there until the rest of truck comes running over, yelling that they have to go. He turns to look at them and feels warm tears making their way down his face. 

“Otis? What happened? What’s going on?” Herrmann asks, trying to peer around the younger firefighter.

“He… Casey,” Otis gets out before he starts sobbing.

“What? What’s going on?” Kidd asks as Herrmann pulls Otis into an awkward side hug. He looks towards Kidd, confusion evident on his face. Kidd looks down and upon seeing the bottle of pills, freezes. 

“Oh my god,” she says softly.

Mouch races forwards to take Casey’s pulse and upon finding nothing, pales. He looks towards Kidd and Herrmann and shakes his head, signifying that the truck captain was indeed gone.

“Chief, you guys need to get back here. Casey… he’s...” Mouch says into his radio, his voice breaking.

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” Boden asks.

“He’s… He killed himself, chief.” 

There’s a moment of silence before Boden answers, his voice heavy with emotion.

“We’ll be right there.”


End file.
